Posts in transgenerational trauma
Victim Mentality: It's for Sale, but are you Buying it?

Let’s talk about… Victim Mentality.

What is it?

Why does it exist?

How can we prevent it?

First off, who am I to write about such a topic? Well, if you know me… or have known me in the last 43 years, you know I know how to play the role “just right”. And if you know me, you just nodded in agreement. Here’s the twist, if you nodded, it’s because you know firsthand, for yourself. Whether you are aware of your own victim mentality or not, I am merely a reflection of you. So… with that being said… let’s face facts.

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Mom in Me: My Best Friend & Biggest Bully

I wasn’t a good mother. I wanted to be. I tried to be. But I only knew as much as I learned, and what I learned wasn’t good.

My mother screamed, and hit, and hurt everyone in our home. Especially me. I was singled out for being the only girl. Given rules and expectations that didn’t apply to my brothers. Years later, I’d learn why.

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One... Two... Three... Triggered!

My Mama wasn’t allowed to be a kid. At twelve she started working outside her family's home, but at six she had been instructed to work inside. The third of twelve children, there was little opportunity for her to go outside and play. She soon forgot what play was. I wanted to remind her by giving her a day to let her Inside Kid OUT at Wonderspaces.

We had lots of fun... exploring, laughing, until we didn't. An hour after smiling for the camera, we were arguing with each other.

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I ACEd, but She Graduated

"I don't know, I feel silly. Maybe I shouldn't walk?"

 

"What do you mean? You've worked hard, you earned this."

 

"Yeah but, it's only my Associates."

 

Only?

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