Throwback Thursday - "What have you learned since your first day of high school?" (1992 English assignment)
Written below you will find an assignment I wrote in June of 1992 when I was two months shy of my 17th birthday. It was the last assignment I wrote for my English class during my Junior year. The essay topic was: "What have you learned since your first day of high school?"
I am a firm believer that a person can't effectively move forward without knowing what happened to them, and who they believed themselves to be at the time. As always, thank you for reading and most importantly, for Facing ACEs with me... xoXo
They say, "I know you. I understand." Understand. This is a word quite easy to say, but usually difficult to do. Over the past three years I have been trying to realize the true meaning of this word and use it to its fullest. Maturity begins in the soul and progresses with experience of new ideas, adventures and time. The name calling, fights, betrayal of friends and involvement with the law have all matured my soul from a fragile teenager into a knowledgeable young lady.
Many people say, "Make the most of your high school years because they are the most important!" Although, from being a Freshman of yesterday to a Junior of today, I unfortunately do not have much good to show for these years. Walking onto the high school campus for the first time three years ago was definitely a major experience; not to mention quite exciting. I started off the school year with excellent grades... which later fell to be acceptable grades. Throughout all the three years, I have always passed every class... but the test I did bad on was... life.
Changes always take place in every person's character... and going through "Who am I?" stages is common. I am no different from anyone else. I have gone through my share of identity crises and hopefully one day I will get it right. Friends have come and gone for various reasons... the main upset being jealousy. Although, no matter how many times I have been pushed down... I always stumble back to my feet. At least, I try.
Trust is like money - you lend it, you spend it, you save it and sometimes you get robbed. I was viciously robbed of my trust, security and happiness. Throughout my high school years I had always been the friendly, trusting type... although that all changed during April of 1992. How can a stranger... someone who could care less about you, take away all of your hopes, dreams and trust in men? It hurt and was painful; and that was only the emotional side of it. After the incident, I felt empty, hopeless and heartless. Even though with some major help from my mother, friend, counselor and savior... I am little by little recovering. It is amazing how something so terrible can change your outlook on everything. Not all experiences are good, but the ones that are not certainly build your heart, soul and knowledge incredibly.
They say, "I know you. I understand." Their words are meant to comfort me. Instead I grow frustrated. I stand before a mirror and try to look deep within the glass. The dark, shapeless reflection does nothing to reassure me. I cannot see myself. I do not know myself. I cannot understand myself. How can they?